It's been 2 weeks since I've posted my gratitude.
It's not that I am not thankful-because I am. I am just...I am just... I don't know what I am actually.
I have been struggeling with looking for gratitude on a smaller scale-trying to find it in the everyday, because that is the purpose of this journey of gratitude isn't it? To be thankful for everyday blessings. For some reason my mind wants to think big-that's easy though. The struggle is in the everyday. Digging deep down into my heart to try to find thanks when I am washing dishes, again. I was reading Anns blog at Holy Experience this morning and she was talking about finding beauty in the not so beautiful. Instead of yellow sunshine and green grass-we have bleak November skies, wet leaves, and the cold chills my bone.
It's about the journey, the searching.
Sometimes gratitude is obvious, sometimes beauty is right in front of me. Sometimes I just don't see it. So I pray.
Lord, today help me to be thankful, instill in me a heart of gratitude! Open my eyes to see the beauty that is all around me. I know my life is full of beauty and blessings. Sometimes though, I just can't see it. I get to wrapped up in myself. Lord I beg that you help me to break the habit of being cynical and negative. I pray for joy. New eyes, a new heart. Give me a heart that seeks you, that searches for you and is never satisfied until I find you.
And you will seek Me and find Me,
when you search for Me with all your heart.
And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us...
I continue to search.